The Warli village lay flat and quiet under the white afternoon sun. Even the
crows had gone silent. The heat pressed down like a thick brown blanket, and
Jeeva lay sprawled on the cool mud floor of the veranda, doing absolutely
nothing.
He had meant to do many things. He had meant to fetch water for Aaji. He had
meant to finish the little Warli drawing of a peacock he had started yesterday.
He had meant to feed the brown calf tied under the mango tree.
But the afternoon was so heavy. His arms felt like wet sacks of grain. His
eyes kept sliding half-shut. Every time a thought floated up — *the water,
the peacock, the calf* — it sank again into a warm grey fog before he could
catch it.
"Jeeva," called Aaji from inside, "did you bring the water?"
"In a little while, Aaji," he mumbled. He did not move. A fly landed on his
foot. He could not even be bothered to shake it off.
Aaji came out, wiping her hands, and looked at her grandson lying like a
dropped puppet. She did not scold. She sat down on the step beside him.
"Do you feel the heaviness, little one?" she asked softly.
"Mm," said Jeeva. "I want to do things. But I can't. I just... don't."
"I know this feeling," said Aaji. "It has a name. Krishna calls it tamas. It
comes like a grey cloud and sits on top of the mind. It doesn't make you want
too much, the way a busy day does. It makes you not care at all. You forget
what you meant to do. You feel too tired to start. Your eyes want only to
close. And all the while" — she tapped his chest gently — "the bright little
you is hiding behind the cloud, waiting."
Jeeva blinked up at her. "How do I make the cloud go away?"
Aaji smiled and stood, holding out her hand. "Sometimes you just take one
small step. Stand up. Splash water on your face. The first little movement is
a door in the grey wall. Shall we?"
Jeeva groaned, and then, slowly, he took her hand. He stood. The fog tugged
at him, but the moment his bare feet hit the warm courtyard and the water
touched his face, a little corner of the grey cloud lifted, and he could
think clearly again.